Another remarK (Kramer)!!!!!!

At 3am on May 3, 2012 Kaitlyn Elizabeth Kramer came into this world at 9lb 0oz and 20". Born to Jeff and Sara Kramer of Pingree Grove I am told that both mom and baby are doing very well! She is super cute, as you can see. But most importantly she has made me a proud and happy uncle! 

Death by Insurance

So Megan and I have been trying to conceive for over a year and a half. It's been really hard, both emotionally and spiritually. We have been given a lot of hope by working with a doctor down in Peoria who practices Napro Technology. It is a way of looking at infertility from a woman's whole health standpoint - like having surgery to fix a problem instead of just putting a band-aid on the problem, like IVF tries to do. So part of treating the couple is looking at the men as well (which is something no other reproductive endocrinologists will do), and that means doing some testing and analyzing. But the frustrating thing for us now is that after I have my tests I'm supposed to go to a urologist for a consultation. The problem with that is that the urologist can't look at my tests and give me any advice or support because that is considered "infertility treatment" and insurance doesn't cover "infertility treatment". To my insurance: Yes it is treating our infertility but more importantly, it's treat my health!!! But that's not the worst part. Yeah it stinks that I need answers but no one can help me because it's not covered. No, the worst part is that my insurance will, at least partially cover if not completely pay for contraceptives and abortions. That's the kind of pessimistic society we have become. Rather than promoting life and health, the insurance companies will pay for death and pills which can actually cause infertility and other health problems. (Sounds like a really bad business move if I give you a pill and it causes you to have more serious health problems in the future so then I have to give out more money to pay for those hospital bills of yours...but I'm not in the insurance business.) It's all just...frustrating!!! There really is no denying that the cultural of death is at the forefront of America. And oh how we need to pray for change.

Physical (and Spiritual) Surgery

Just this past week I underwent surgery to remove the Pilonidal (pronounced pie-lon-i-dal) Disease from my rear. It's a terrible disease that is genetic and sits under the skin on the behind. It remains dormant until it becomes infected and while not life threatening, can be a real pain in the butt (pun intended). Mine had been infected for the past four months and looks somewhat like a boil. Kinda gross, I know. It was really uncomfortable and would often put me in a crummy mood and make me less charitable toward others. Anyway, I was put under and the doctor cut out the cysts and all roots and anything pertaining to the disease. He stitched up my gluteous with 10 stitches so now all I can do is stand, kneel or lay on my side or stomach. I would greatly appreciate some prayers for a quick healing because I also have to take some time off work, albeit against my will, because I can't sit.

Still, it has given me some time to think about how badly I needed this surgery and how we need spiritual surgery sometimes too. We need to purge ourselves of the bad habits, of the spiritual diseases that can slow us down or cause us to be less charitable. For me, Holy Week 2012 was that spiritual surgery. Truth be told, I didn't have the most spiritually advancing Lenten season. I got lazy with my sacrifices and even worse with my disciple to prayer. Still, I made new resolutions during Holy Week to really enter into the mystery of Christ's passion and death. And I felt like it worked, that sometimes we need to purge ourselves of...ourselves! Of those desires that bring us comfort, of the little things that cause us to hide in our daily routines, even of those things which may seem to bring us the most comfort but only hinder our spiritual growth. I was able to do that during Holy Week and now the Easter season is my joyful recovery of learning to live my life with the changes, all while I try to be joyful recovering from this surgery.

For obvious reasons, this post is one which lacks pictures. I would show you pictures butt...er...but that would be gross. So come on over and visit me and maybe I'll show you my stitches!

What now?...

What now? I would imagine that's what the disciples asked each other as they sat in the upper room, too afraid to go out for fear of persecution. Their leader, teacher, master, the one they have been following for 3 years, the one they have given up their livelihood for, has just died. They don't know he will be back tomorrow. It's done. It's over. THAT'S IT! And they have nothing to show for it. Judas is gone, Peter is feeling like the biggest failure and worst friend and all of them most likely figure they will go back home in a week or so once things have calmed down. But for now...what?
Matt Maher (a catholic musician) has a beautiful reflection and meditation for each day of holy week, and especially for Holy Saturday. Take a listen, then read on. (Yeah this is the same video Megan posted on her blog.)

Honestly, Megan and I watched this video this morning (Holy Saturday) and we both were crying by the end of it. I couldn't help but listen to this and feel like we are stuck in Holy Saturday. Stuck not in a bad way, but here waiting in joyful hope for the coming of a child to our family.  Still, I feel that we don't know when (if) we will be able to have children and when the day does come that we are pregnant, I will be so scared/excited/fearful/joyful that I won't want to get my hopes up too high because I can't bear to be let down again.

But I know in my heart of hearts that, just as Jesus rose from the grave and conqured death, He will show us His grand plan and it will be more glorious than Megan or I could have planned. And the joy in our hearts will overflow more than we ever imagined.

But for now, we wait patiently. And taking time to wait, pray and contemplate is just as important as receiving the gift He will give...in His time.

Good Friday Musical Reflection

So I'm stuck at work today, which really stinks. I mean its Good Friday and the day when Passover starts so...I'm not going to get calls from Christians and the Jews are beginning their holy day as well so who really needs me here today? But I digress, I have to be here because someone from our department needs to represent and its just a small cross that I must carry. This small cross is preventing me from venerating the cross, His cross, and while I want with all my being to go and worship today with my parish I know the Lord sees my sacrifice and appreciates it.  (After all, since work is slow he has allowed me to publish this post) He also allows me to listen to music and while I haven't been listening to music this week in preparation for the Triduum I did allow myself a few songs which help me to meditate on Christ's suffer and death, and ultimately the joy of his resurrection. Here are my favorites for Good Friday. I especially like the one for the crucifixion. Again, both of these songs are by Danielle Rose.
Enjoy!

Crowning with Thorns

Crucifixion

I hope you have a most solemn Good Friday.

Holy Thursday Reflection

I realize I am a bit late in posting this but just as I was about to hit publish the power went out at our house yesterday which effectively told me, "Kevin, I don't want you to post this now. Spend some quiet time with me instead". So here is a simple Holy Thursday reflection:

First, let me highly recommend the reflection which Fr. Faulkner has given us. You can find them on his blog linked on the left side of this post. All of them are excellent (I believe).


Second, let me recommend for this holy week reflecting on the mysteries of the rosary and, in particular, the songs wrote by Danielle Rose, a catholic artist commissioned by JPII to write these mystery reflections. Here are my two favorite for Holy Thursday. I would say, if you have the means, that you should support her and buy this cd as it is oh so beautiful!

The Institution of the Eucharist
A Love Song From Jesus
The Agony in the Garden

I hope you have a most blessed Holy Thursday.

Italian Food & Beautiful Women

On Sunday Megan and I cashed in on our Christmas gift from Aunt Jane, we went to lunch at Maggiano's. Oh what a lunch it was. Not only did I have good food - you can get 2 full pasta meals (1 to eat now and 1 to take home with you) for just $13 but I got to enjoy the company of two beautiful women! I am such a lucky guy.